’Marets’epile was only 17 when she fell pregnant. As a result, she dropped out of school and entered into marriage.
Her own family never accepted her pregnancy and her subsequent marriage. By falling pregnant out of wedlock, they said she had brought dishonour to the family. And so they began to lash out at her.
She quickly fell into depression.
She eventually moved in with her boyfriend who was only 19.
The husband did not have a steady job and found it extremely difficult to provide for his new family.
With money scarce, the young family was literally living on the edge.
And so when ’Mamoletsane Khati, who is the Country Director at Help Lesotho, saw her at a session for Adolescent Young Mothers Programme in Butha-Buthe, she looked sullen and unhappy.
Khati says there are so many young girls who are in circumstances similar to ’Marets’epile’s. They are often abused emotionally by their parents for “letting the family down” after falling pregnant.
She says Help Lesotho seeks to assist these young, adolescent mothers cope by providing them with psychosocial support.
The support includes equipping the young mothers with life-skills as well as providing one-on-one counselling sessions. The whole idea, Khati says, is to improve resilience and build support for youths.
Trapped in loveless marriages, some of the young women are subjected to shocking acts of violence from their partners.
Khati sees gender-based violence as “a vice that hinders young women from reaching their full potential”. It also “harms their self-confidence” and blocks women from achieving their dreams, she states.
As part of their interventions, Khati says they invite young mothers, their partners and parents, to sessions where they deal with issues of anger and conflict management.
“Through these sessions we have been able to improve relationships and thereby minimising gender-based violence within the communities we work in,” she says.
’Marets’epile could have fallen into depression given what she went through but she picked herself up and decided to move on.
A year after they first met, ’Marets’epile was able to motivate other young mothers to improve their communication skills at home and in their communities. Her mother-in-law is now an advocate against GBV and the two are now working closely together to clamp down the scourge.
“I was so relieved when I finally saw her (’Marets’epile) jovial and confident,” Khati says.
Khati believes that the key in fighting gender-based violence lies in educating the next generation on the effects and impact of gender-based violence on the individual, family and the rest of the community.
“One sad person can affect the happiness of the next person,” she says.
“We should learn from the young generation what they think should be done (on the matter of gender-based violence). We should stop prescribing to them strategies which might have worked in our time, yet not working for the younger generation.”
Khati says it is therefore important to educate the community on issues of consent. In some cases, women would claim that they said “no” but the men would “interpret that as saying the woman wanted it”.
She also wants those dealing with issues of child and sexual abuse to learn how to quickly read “the signs so that we are able to help in time”.
“Some children undergo a lot of abuse and we are not able to read the signs or tell-tale signs on time.”
As Lesotho marks the 16 Days of Activism Against Gender-Based Violence campaign, Khati says it is absolutely crucial to step up efforts to clamp down the practice.
She says other harmful practices, such as child marriages, are also another form of gender-based violence, which need to be challenged and addressed.
“We need to hold each other accountable as we all have a responsibility to do the right thing in stopping gender-based violence.”
